My theory on how to deal with alcoholics
My sister was an alcoholic for well over twenty years and died an alcoholic's death lying in bed in blood on a urine soaked mattress littered with waste. What was lying there wasn't my sister--it was what was left of her. So over the years she ruined my parents retirement, family gatherings, holidays, damaged valuables in the house....it goes on. I'm just letting you know I was there, and stare back at what she did--it's like looking at a path of blackened ash from Sherman"s March To The Sea,
I believe as soon as some develops into an alcoholic you should cut them lose. They can't hit bottom to change if they keep landing on you. They will push any emotional button to guilt you to continue any form of support so they can keep drinking. They will lie, They will tell you everything you want to hear. If you indulge them, an alcoholic doesn't have a problem because they're everyone else's problem. You have to let them be their own problem--then they have to either own up; if they don;t', well it saves you years of grief by enabling them over the years wi9thout a result.
"I don't want them to sleep under a bridge" is what some people will say to defend housing and supporting a drunk. But maybe that's what it takes for them to realize what they're doing with their life. One of the problems hitting the bottom is there are a lot of people down there they can sympathize with. And alcoholics love self-pity!
With the death of my sister I don't have any grief. While she was alive, I suffered grief looking at the person who was dying inside her from alcohol.
What is an alcoholics weapon: your hope for their recovery. They've turned hope into a weapon. I have sometimes said to people: "The reason they're called recovering alcoholics is they're still alcoholics and everyone around them is recovering