I talked to my oncologist and I am not doing my fourth round of chemo...
"A week ago, a spirit of health visited me. It has happened once before to me. I was getting chemo and felt my organs moved and knew the cancer had shrunk. And I was right. And this time, the spirit said, 'You got this! It's dead' I knocked wood because I want to stay humble. But I believe right now the chemo is hurting not helping me. I'd go with a PET scan or CT scan and if it says I'm right, then we just go to the operation. After all, they're going to cut more than they have to, to be preventative, and I'm doing chemo afterwards, so why not go this direction?"
My oncologist said, "I agree with you. You know your body. I see no reason to go with the chemo now."
So, we'll see. I'm relieved. If anything, this will give me a week to heal. Most of the time this week I felt chemo was doing more damage then good. I was losing Fred. It was a struggle to hang onto myself. I merely hung my head and simply said, "It's just chemo."
But I can only hope I'm right. The cancer guys have their playbook, but it doesn't have the color of my eyes and my personality. That's all I have, and it has to count. I'm going with blue eyes and getting more Fred back in me instead of chemo. We'll see.
I had to stand-up and think I made a difference and not submit to a pattern.
And yes, that means I'm going to try to surf today!